Becoming You by Michelle Grubb

Author:Michelle Grubb [Grubb, Michelle]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781626398122
Publisher: Bold Strokes Books
Published: 2016-12-31T23:00:00+00:00

*

Saturday came sooner than anticipated. Olivia left for Paris with Gavin on Thursday, and Airlie attempted to block out all thoughts of them. When they did enter her mind, it was usually a visual of them in bed together, and that sparked an anger she simply didn’t want to confront.

With nothing else to do, she lazed about the house, prolonging her time at home and shortening the time she would need to be out on her pretend errands. She cooked a bacon roll for breakfast, watched some TV, read in her room, and come lunchtime, she showered and made herself scarce.

As it turned out, Airlie enjoyed a lovely day pottering around Dublin. It had been such a long time since she had spent time like this on her own. As a light drizzle fell, she made her way to her favorite coffeehouse. It felt like a lifetime ago when she first sat in Sean’s For Coffee. She saw the boys during the week occasionally, but because she hadn’t been around on weekends lately, they had lost touch.

“Look who it is.” Dan rushed over for a hug. “The prodigal friend returns.”

Airlie returned the embrace, and they kissed on the cheek.

“Where have you been?” Dan held her at arm’s length, looking her up and down.

“I’ve been around.”

“I hear you’ve been finding yourself in the west.”

“Maybe. I guess so.”

“Well,” he said, kissing her again, “I’m glad you’ve found yourself here today. Latte?”

“Yes, please.” She took a seat near the counter so they could continue chatting while he worked.

“So, a little birdie tells me you’ve got a hot date with Rachel tonight?”

“I have?”

“That’s the rumor.” He winked. “You know she likes you, don’t you?”

Airlie wasn’t sure if this was a question or a statement. She caught his expectant gaze. “Rachel likes everyone.” She shrugged.

“Perhaps. But she really likes you.”

“Should you be telling me this?”

Dan frowned and pulled out the chair opposite her to sit. “I’m not going to ask you if you’re gay. I don’t have to.” Airlie began to interrupt. “Let me finish.” His voice was low and possibly the least gay she’d ever heard him speak. He commanded her undivided attention. “This self-discovery you’re going through can be as hard or as easy as you want to make it. In one way or another, we’ve all done it. We’ve all questioned who we are and who we want to be. There’s no right or wrong way to be gay, Airlie. If you strip it down to what it really is, at the end of the day, all that’s different is that you’re attracted to women, not men. It doesn’t make you a bad person—no matter what the hypocritical Catholics think. You’re still you. Do you understand me?”

She nodded. She understood perfectly, and in Dan’s position, she would probably give the same advice, but she just couldn’t relate it to herself. Not yet. She’d spent so long denying who she was; it was taking longer than she expected to accept the truth. Her internal struggle continued, and it was wearing her down.

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